Wedding Mistakes

1. DON'T create a wedding for others at the expense of your personal desires and responsibilities. A wedding is an event intended to bring people together -- families, friends, the community of people around you. But more than anything else, it is about uniting two people together for life. As you begin planning your wedding, try to focus on creating the kind of celebration you want, not the one you think other people will expect you to have. Yes, it's important to consider other people's feelings. Yes, symbolic gestures -- such as carrying the same kind of flowers as your mother carried, or using your fiancé's grandparents' cake topper on your cake -- will please others. But don't make choices to please others if they will make you unhappy, and don't spend more than you can afford just to "keep up with the Joneses." 2. DON'T invite people just because you think you have to. The simple truth of wedding budgeting is that each additional guest means an increase in cost. If you have a specific budget limit (and most people do), you reduce your ability to spend on other items each time you increase the headcount. More guests mean fewer flowers, a less extravagant menu. Invite those who you care about most and who are truly involved in your life. On your wedding day, you want to be surrounded by familiar, loving smiles -- not people you barely recognize. 3. DON'T be late. This rule applies to the bride, the groom, and everyone else involved in the wedding. Try to start your wedding on time. If you don't, everything will run behind schedule, and that can create real problems at your reception location, especially if there is another event scheduled following yours. If locations or service people (waiters, bartenders, musicians, etc.) end up working later than originally scheduled, you may find unpleasant overtime charges added to your final bill. If you must delay the start of your ceremony -- perhaps because guests are still arriving -- do so by no more than 10 minutes. 4. DON'T worry about things going wrong. There's no point in panicking the morning of the wedding. Minor problems will probably occur and no one will really even notice; if a big problem is looming, there's probably little that can be done about it at this point. So why worry? Let others take care of the final details. Relax, smile, and enjoy your special day. 5. DON'T tune out. Some brides are so overwhelmed by wedding anxiety that they turn to over-the-counter sedatives, prescription tranquilizers, or alcohol to calm nerves on the big day. And then they have to wait and watch the wedding video in order to find out what happened. Resist the temptation to medicate yourself through the nerve-wracking final hours. You'll want to remember this day. 6. DON'T include things that don't matter to you. While observing wedding traditions can create a sense of continuity and community at a wedding celebration, they aren't essential. You don't have to have a flowergirl and ringbearer if you don't want to -- or even adult attendants. Maybe you're a grown-up bride who finds the garter toss ritual embarrassing; if so, skip it. There's no law that says you can't walk yourself down the aisle and give yourself away. Although you should be careful about tampering with religious rituals, feel free to create your own traditions. 7. DON'T forget to eat. Famished, fainting brides and grooms are a bigger problem than you might imagine. Considering skipping breakfast so you can look svelte in your wedding attire? Don't. It may be your last meal of the day, and you'll need the energy. If jitters have your stomach in a knot, try to eat a few saltines. As the minutes tick down to showtime, you probably won't have a chance to grab a bite to eat. Many couples are so busy visiting with guests at the reception that they barely get a bite of their own reception menu. Not eating can make you cranky at the least; and cause you to faint at the worst. In a recent survey, 36% of all honeymooners said the first thing they did when they got to their suite after the wedding was… order room service. Eat a meal before the wedding, and try to eat at the reception too. 8. DON'T spend too much time with any particular guest. It may be difficult, but you should make it your goal to spend at least a few minutes visiting with each of your wedding guests. The only way you're going to make it through the crowd and still do all the other things you're supposed to do (have your first dance, toasts, dinner, and cut the cake) is if you push yourself to be brief with each guest. You can always circle back later and spend some extra time with your favorite people. 9. DON'T let guests drink and drive. Should you choose to have an open bar or serve alcohol to guests that are not LDS, be sure you do not let anyone drive that has been drinking. Ask whomever is acting as bar tender to keep an eye on those who drink. You don't want your special day ruined by tragedy. 10. DON'T forget what it's really all about. Your wedding day will pass quickly. All the months of planning will be realized in just a few short hours. Guests will "ooh and aah" over your beautiful gown; they'll marvel at the lovely flowers; they'll enjoy the delicious reception menu you organized so carefully. But, ultimately, all those things are just a part of the party. A wedding is the celebration of something much more important: the decision two people make to join together and live their lives as one. Amidst the fanfare of your wedding day, try to remember to take a moment or two and gaze across the crowd. Find the face of your new spouse. Watch him or her as they enjoy the day. Share a smile between the two of you, and commit yourself to finding a way, each and every day, to bring those smiles back to your faces.