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May'08- Bro, sis, me and Ku Kong at Kajang Satay @ D'sara Uptown
Dear Ku Kong,
Words fail me. How does one say goodbye? How do I put words into what I feel especially whatever that is coursing through my already gibberish mind?
All that is imprinted in my mind is that you're more of a grandfather to me than my own grandfather ever was. And I have always wished that you were my grandfather instead of my granduncle. I remember all those times when you and Kim Poh would take us out for food and shopping. I would look forward to the presents you bought for us each and everytime we were in Penang. Or the times you would take us out 'kai kai'. Or Those times where you'll happily order Fried Ow Jien (Fried oysters) and Char Koay Teow and Pai Thee etc. for us but you'll sneakily pinch a few mouthfuls for yourself.
I didn't realised the depths of how I felt til I saw you lying on the hospital bed on Saturday. As I saw the ominous needles poked into your veins, hooking you up with the much needed medication and fluids and machines, all these in which to keep you alive and stable, tears just starts trickling down my cheeks.
The more I tried to be brave and hold on, the harder the tears just felled. Where did the tears even come from??
Seeing you so vulnerable and in such frail condition saddened me. It reminded me of Tai Ma and her death 16 years ago. A death that up til today, I still mourn for dearly and had shed bucket loads of tears then. Seeing you in such condition made me realised that I wished never to see myself nor my parents in such manner.
It would be so much easier and less painful for all to just pass away in one's sleep. Ending one's journey on earth in a peaceful way. Walking away from the world with nary a thought.
But of course, this way, at least, we get to say our last goodbyes. To say our final piece in order to find peace. There comes a time in everyone's life when it is time to depart from this earth. After all, we were never meant to stay on earth forever.
And now, your time has come. I would like to believe that you are in a better place. A better place with no pain and sorrows. A place with Kim Poh and Tai Ma and Him. Where everyday is filled with happiness and joy.
Eternal Joy and who knows... filled with Char Koay Teows and Fried Ow Jiens.
Words fail me. How does one say goodbye? How do I put words into what I feel especially whatever that is coursing through my already gibberish mind?
All that is imprinted in my mind is that you're more of a grandfather to me than my own grandfather ever was. And I have always wished that you were my grandfather instead of my granduncle. I remember all those times when you and Kim Poh would take us out for food and shopping. I would look forward to the presents you bought for us each and everytime we were in Penang. Or the times you would take us out 'kai kai'. Or Those times where you'll happily order Fried Ow Jien (Fried oysters) and Char Koay Teow and Pai Thee etc. for us but you'll sneakily pinch a few mouthfuls for yourself.
I didn't realised the depths of how I felt til I saw you lying on the hospital bed on Saturday. As I saw the ominous needles poked into your veins, hooking you up with the much needed medication and fluids and machines, all these in which to keep you alive and stable, tears just starts trickling down my cheeks.
The more I tried to be brave and hold on, the harder the tears just felled. Where did the tears even come from??
Seeing you so vulnerable and in such frail condition saddened me. It reminded me of Tai Ma and her death 16 years ago. A death that up til today, I still mourn for dearly and had shed bucket loads of tears then. Seeing you in such condition made me realised that I wished never to see myself nor my parents in such manner.
It would be so much easier and less painful for all to just pass away in one's sleep. Ending one's journey on earth in a peaceful way. Walking away from the world with nary a thought.
But of course, this way, at least, we get to say our last goodbyes. To say our final piece in order to find peace. There comes a time in everyone's life when it is time to depart from this earth. After all, we were never meant to stay on earth forever.
And now, your time has come. I would like to believe that you are in a better place. A better place with no pain and sorrows. A place with Kim Poh and Tai Ma and Him. Where everyday is filled with happiness and joy.
Eternal Joy and who knows... filled with Char Koay Teows and Fried Ow Jiens.
작별 인사 and With a heavy heart, I bid you adieu...
~Esther
~Esther
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