Melancholic me

It's almost the end of July and still, I am hanging in the air.
All I have are unanswered questions and even more uncertainties.

Where are you, the one who is all knowing?

The one they call Alpha and Omega.

Have you forsaken me in my time of need, my time of confusion?

Or is that your footprint that I somehow do not see?

Should I be bold, take a risk and seize the moment?

Or would that be foolhardy of me and just plain irresponsibility?

Obligations and responsibilities, be damned!

All I want to do is paint the town red!

I don't want to be a survivor. So, don't treat me as one!

All I want is to love and be loved, to care and be cared for.

To pave my future, I need to make a stand in the present.

If not, all will fade to be my past. A past with regrets.

A past with no turning back.

A past that will define who I am in the present and who I will be in the future.